Having been carbon negative for a few years now, I've…
So here we are….what a busy couple of months!!! The final stage begins for the easing of lockdowns, the summer is here and we brace ourselves for, what now seems short, summer holidays!
I write this after having to take a break from the blog. As soon as the girls were back in school, we hit the ground running…..it has literally been non-stop…but not in a bad way, kids extracurricular activities are back, routine is back and more importantly, we are thriving!
I write to you with mixed emotions today as, for now, this will be my last blog entry.
On one hand, I have learnt a huge amount about myself whilst attempting to learn to play. A journey I least expected to take. On the other hand, as much as I loved learning a new skill, despite challenges, as you may have guessed, I just don’t have the extra time anymore. One of the things learning the harp taught me was to focus. I learnt how to focus on what’s important without the negativity taking over. This in turn helped me realise that if I focus on a few key points in my life, I can excel at those, rather than stretching myself too thinly and wearing out!
I also realised that as this journey goes on hold, that I now move forward having more faith and confidence in myself. That I need to stop worrying about what others think or that I must live abiding by their opinions of what I should do. I need to believe in myself. Without going too deep, cliché sounding and boring you all. It made me realise that after years of fighting to survive and just exist, I had all but given up on myself. I was living day to day doing the best for the girls and pleasing everyone else and trying not to offend them, but I had forgotten about myself, I need to now learn what hobbies I may enjoy, try and make more time for myself and most of all find who I am!
Yes!! Learning the harp really did do this for me, it forced me to stop and have the true reflective time to assess where I was at, what I wanted from life and that I was still too stubborn to give up!! The peace that playing, even simple tunes and exercises gave me was refreshing, a peace I haven’t felt in a long time. A part of me doesn’t want to stop now, but I had to sit down and work out what came first. I’m fast burning out and amongst other commitments, learning harp was one of the things to go. Learning how not to say yes all the time, to focus my energy and not over commit, as many of you know and I’m learning, is a steep learning curve, that at times feels like a rollercoaster of highs and lows!
I hope to return to this journey one day, maybe when the girls are more independent and I regain more free time on days off….it’s by no means the end!
I have loved the interaction with you guys and entering deeper into the harp world has been fascinating and really helped me through some darker times. I will definitely continue to follow these groups and individuals….. TTFN!!